Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Writings on the Toilet Walls

Originally published on Facebook Notes on June 9, 2011


It is funny how and where YouTube browsing takes you. I mean, just a few minutes ago I was watching these crazy RWJ videos and just clicked away the related links and went to karaokeying ( check my status update) then to seeing Arabic songs and ended up at Outlandish’s Aisha song ( originally Cheb Khaled’s).

The song somehow reminded the good old school days and the “sexeeeh” Math teacher in class 8. Since I studied in a boys only school therefore she was the only “popular gal” in the school. If there was any stereotype about math teachers in my mind then Ms Romana was the anti Christ o all those stereotypes. Whole toilets walls were dedicated to her where frustrated 14, 15 year olds wrote down their frustration of not getting her in a heart wrenching way. Some were not good at writing so they made art as their medium of communication and drew insane hybrids of the Birth of Venus and Ms Romana (simple terms: Nude Sketches). Of course, when it came to art she drew the best out of the students, but could the same things be said about math. Well…. No. I mean how on earth could I concentrate on the stupid Pythagoras Theorem when she was in the teachers desk combing her long auburn silky hair and spraying a seductive deodorant at herself- It was hard to restrain.

I never really got to learn from her class because I took tuitions in the evening. All the brothers got them.

Never really, intended to write anything tonight, but this memory just came into my mind and I thought I would share it with you guys and girls.

Anyways the night ‘s cold and it late. Gotto wake up at 5, because it’s a full day shift tomorrow. May be I should listen to Nindiya Rey by Kaavish to make me fall asleep. Such a nice song on coke studio.

Anyways

See Ya !

Explanations


Explanations are required everywhere, you enter into your house at 2 in the morning and you have to explain the reason to your mother who will dutifully explain to your sleeping dad in the morning ( though with some neccesary alterations).


You have to explain yourself to the security official at the airport when he finds a jar of mayonnaise in your bag, you have to explain that its just mayonnaise and not liquid rdx or semtex explosive.

Then, you have to explain when you are in a foriegn country that you dont eat bacon, salami or ham.

Life is full of explanations isnt it?.Dont you get sick of explanations everynow and then? and you know what's the next irksome thing is?....listening to explanations. you have to listen to persons explaining to you why they stole your coffee powder or why their offensive behavior can be attributed to their drink addiction. See, i do not give a damn whether you are addicted or not and whether you had abusive parents or not. You have commited a wrong and accept that. The End. But no, we always have explanations.


If the security official finds a mysterious looking mayonnaise in my bag then instead of explaining about the origin of that mayonnaise jar i would rather prefer to have him take the jar and test it and bring it back to me, and just in time so that i dont miss my flight. ( develop a new technology einsteins)


If i have not submitted my assignment on time then i would just say sorry and 'wont happen again' to the teacher and thats about it instead of wasting my time bilging out worthless explanations.


Once a senior employee asked me that why were the sales not happenning on my store , i just replied " customers are not coming, cant do anything", that person actually waited for a minute on the phone as if he was expecting further explanations from me, when he didnt see them coming, he launched on a lecture of his own and after 10 minutes when he sought my apologetic explanation, i calmly replied " if the cutstomers come, i will sell, if they dont, then i cant do anything......anything else?", he promptly put down the phone. Leaving me free to finish the novel that i was reading befre he called.


Another set of explanations that i really HATE is explaining about my country and religion. Why do i always have to explain that Islam is a religion of peace and and we want peace and tolerance. If you you think otherwise then good on you, dont waste your time asking me for apologetic explanatons and neither would i waste my time convincing you...you see i have other more important things to do in life...starting with paying the house rent.


Here's something for the south asian journos out there, please stop being cheesy and corny about Indo Pak relations ...i mean what was that Aman ki Asha thing?...isnt that corny enough...imagine me walking to my indian friend's house and saying " i have come to your house with the message of peace and love"...how corny and cheesy would that sound? apart from being comical. Would it be really dificult to just live peacefully without any annoying displays of cheesiness ( GEO News i am talking to you).


And finnally when you die you have to explain your actions to God ( if you believe in one), ...even there you have to explain!...Christ!!....and you know what i''ll do when i get there? i would say....Dear God...here's what i have done, you have as witnesesses the two angels on my sides, send me either to hell or heaven i dont care...but just dont prolong it like Saas Bhee Kabhi Bahu thee ( it might have ended..-is it? but we have Teray Pehlu Main on the other side of the border that comes on Geo Tv..what episode are we on now?)


See ya

Bye

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