Channo and her Assets

I have decided on a great valentine gift in advance. However, I will come to that afterwards. First, let us discuss a video that currently has an aggregate of 550,000 hits on YouTube. With a startling number of dislikes, drooling desis commenting on the shameless flaunting of female assets, some even going as far as to begin arguing over the superiority of one’s country, religion, family and the size of their respective manhoods and that is all over an Item Song. Alas, nobody is appreciating the art direction, choreography and the dance performance of our very own VEENA MALIK (I am going to hell for this)

Yes, dear readers I am talking about the new entry in the market, an item song called Channo featuring Veena ji in a certain bollywood flick-who cares about the name, they all start with the hero saving the damsel in distress and end either outside a courtroom or a nuptial bed plus some irrelevant item songs and an eventually fail villain who really needs to get a life.

Anyways, the item is a standard, one sexy lassie and a couple of thousand men, all of different shapes, sizes, colors and hairstyles, dancing and hollering around her ( somehow I am reminded of a scene from Mr. Bean ‘movie where Mr. Bean is dancing around a pedestal fan in an art gallery) . Dear readers an activity involving one woman and many men has a very precise name but since I believe that mentioning that would alert Maya Khan and Co. therefore I will excuse myself from mentioning You-Know-What, although you might know of it ( who am I kidding?).

Sorry, got distracted, but the point for which I took the trouble of writing an entire blog on Veena flaunting her assets is to tell you guys that:

Veena might just succeed where other Pakistani actresses failed.

Of course, success doesn’t come easily if you happen to seek fortune in a foreign la

nd. For Veena it came at a price of revealing – disappointingly moderate sized assets-clashes with the clerics (me gusta) and engaging in “questionable activities” with relatively unknown artistes. Probably that was enough to land her an item song and may be a movie or two and judging by her unpardonable itch to remove any clothing item in a blink of the eye, she might just succeed where Meera failed. For Meera, unfortunately didn’t realize that doing a couple of ‘hot scenes’ is not good enough to succeed in bollywood. She might have known that her so called ‘hot scenes’ are a cinch compared to the likes of our Pashto movies and the erotic rain dances in Punjabi movies. Before Meera, Zeba Bakhtiar and Salma Agha have tried their luck. Only Zeba Bakhtiar got away with a decently grossing movie called Hina (or Hena, whatever spelling you prefer). Meera did Nazar, but her acting was a target of somebody else’s nazar.

Some of these actresses lacked acting skills while others lacked the skill to effectively flaunt their assets. Now, Veena ji finds herself at an important juncture of history (too grand?). She is going to bollywood at a time when Atif, Ali Zafar and Rahat are selling like hot cakes in a bakery opened to people who have been starving for a week. Then there’s her God given confidence of going around naked without any shame (you go girl!), acceptable acting and considerable mimicry skills and her no fear attitude. Now that will win her more money than the past actresses. I can’t guarantee the future but Rakhi Savant would sure find a worthy competition, which would make her ‘up her game’. Veena’s (potential) success might open doors for other bold actresses and performers- and I am particularly relying on Nargis to really kick up a serious sandstorm in Mumbai. But what message are we really sending out to the world, that, we have finally entered the ‘liberal orthodoxy’ and that we are a peace and fun loving nation and to prove that we can put on display the assets of our womenfolk just like they do, hence becoming enlightened modernists, which will consequently result in the defeat of terrorism (err.. yeah..I guess) OR, it might be the case that the society of Pakistan is undergoing a major evolutionary change, the outcome of which will be a more moderate society whose extremists would not be mullahs but nudists, feminists and pot smoking vegans. Welcome to the 21^st century Pakistan.

In the end, let us appreciate and celebrate the lewd dance moves of Veena and her dazzling clothing items and that amazing electric bra.

Somewhere in the lines I might have mentioned what surprise valentine gift I am going buy.

Ciao.